What Time Has Done

Here is what Time has done:

yahoo! mail

Dear chris,

We noticed that you haven’t signed in to your mailbox cscherf1@yahoo.com in a while. If you would like to continue receiving emails in this account, please visit Yahoo Mail and log in by April 23, 2022.

If you do not log back in, this account will stop receiving email messages and the entire contents of your mailbox will be subject to deletion, including all email messages, settings, and folders.

And this:

Namecheap Renewals

Christopher, modularmats.com will expire in 30 days – renew now

Also this:


ACTION NEEDED: Please make a deposit to keep your overdrawn account open.

Things are falling away. The g-chats between me and Chris used to say things like:

Sarah: Chrisp!!! I love you so much. and i miss you 🙂 What would you like for dinner from Mai Thai?

Chris: Hi sweetie! Love you so much!! Just waiting on a file to finish transfering Says 26 minutes left Lemme look at Mai Thai’s menu…


Chris: I think you saw this couch, but I think you should reconsider: http://bham.craigslist.org/fuo/3933663598.html

Sarah: I’d consider. just looks so slouchy. I’d take these prints over plaids

Chris: we’d have to sit on it to be sure. Really?! oh babesbie.

Now it’s just me chatting, begging him to hear:

Sarah: I miss you so much. so so much. I love you. Please come back. I know you won’t. But I love you. I miss you.



Sarah: Babe…do you even know? Can you see? My heart is broken in so many pieces. Please pray for me. Please come back to us. In some way. 


It’s Chris that fell away. On that day in December. In that moment on that day in December. These subsequent things are just the notifications that keep telling me.

5 thoughts on “What Time Has Done

  1. Judy Smith

    Sarah, thank you for this beautiful testimony of your love for your husband and this window into your beautiful soul. I wish I could wrap you up in a hug and carry this pain with you even if only for a moment.

    I’m not sure if either of these books are for you right now? But your story reminds me so much of Sheldon Vanauken’s, A Severe Mercy. He also suffered the lost of the love of his life; the book is about their love story and his path in grief. The other is A Grief Observed by CS Lewis though he published it under originally published a different name bc his grief was so raw and angry— though it is filled with wisdom and hope. Please forgive me if now is not the time to mention these books. I can’t even begin to imagine the loss you are feeling those these 2 authors would understand better than most.

    Thank you for your vulnerability and honesty in grief as you walk this journey with your little ones.

    I love you Sarah even though we have never met. I see you and I hear you. I so wish I could scoop you up and comfort you even though I know it’s not my arms you are wanting. I still want to feel your pain with you. I pray that you will find Comfort and Hope you need to keep you pressing on.

  2. Yvonne Green

    They should send you a printout if you want it of those dear conversations. The minutia of life has no mercy on the strings of the heart.
    Jesus hold Sarah.


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