And So We Wait…Longer

We finally talked to our doctor today and learned that the Harvard doctor was unable to determine what type of cancer Chris has. Apparently the tissue sample wasn’t large enough to determine anything definitive. So we are where we were 10 days ago. Lord willing (cheers, Moomers), we will get another, somewhat more invasive biopsy scheduled for early this next week. Doctor Windsor said that with a larger tissue sample, they shouldn’t need to send it back to Harvard; it should be clearer to the staff here. We will see.

I am exhausted. I’m exhausted from waiting. I feel spent. Although I keep thinking about labor and how spent I thought I was before learning I was only three centimeters. Regardless, I am struggling to keep above water sometimes. I can spin out into anxiety, fearing what could be happening in Chris’s body as all these many days pass with no treatment (Chris is often physically fatigued and somewhat uncomfortable, but he is more patient, less anxious, more grounded than I have been of late). I know my anchor holds within the veil. I know it truly. But the waves still toss at the surface, and I feel them. 

There is also the Body. The very real Body of Christ in this world, and we are carried by it. Just yesterday when I sat on the bleachers at the park for the kids’ running club, I was literally surrounded by the Body of Christ—hearts so open to listen and just let me be where I was, loving me so well, praying with me. And people creating that space for me all the while by keeping eyes on little Marebee. I felt seen and held. By the Lord, by his people. 

The park was one example. A poignant one on such a difficult afternoon. But this seeing and holding is happening all the time to us. We are thankful for so much. 

23 thoughts on “And So We Wait…Longer

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  5. April Beattie

    Dear Sarah and Chris,
    We have been praying earnestly for you and your children since we heard of your illness. I was so thankful to learn last night of your journal so we can pray more specifically for your needs. Waiting is agonizing because we are such prisoners of time, but God is not bound by time. Before the foundation of the world, He knew and loved you. Days that pass without the answers we seek are not wasted days to God. He is at work every moment for your good and His glory. Praying He will enable you to rest in His sovereignty.
    Love, Aunt April and Uncle Vic

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  6. Laurie Rogers Powers

    I spent some time thinking and praying about the season of waiting. It is such a difficult thing in times like this. As I see the picture of your family’s faces every day, I ask God for ABUNDANT provision, beyond what can even be comprehended. I continue to pray for the covering of the Holy Spirit around you, in you and through you.
    Never alone….

    Reply
  7. John Wilson

    Thank you for this update, Sarah. What an agonizing time for you and Chris, a mixture of terror and absurdity. (“The sample wasn’t large enough”!) Yet we know that, whatever happens, your trust in God is not misplaced. Much love,
    John & Wendy

    Reply
  8. Chrissy

    Dear Scherfs,
    I am so sorry that the news keeps saying, “wait longer.” It’s just not what humans like to do is wait. We want to be a part of action unless we’re in a state of peace, then we want to linger and tary there.

    It *sounds* easy to linger and tary in the peace that Christ brings, but it’s something we have to be open to and seek – and it sounds like you found one of those moments with your people at the park, that tangible peace of Christ through his Body.

    I love you all so much. We’re waiting with you. We’re impatient, too. <3

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  9. Betsy Kopecky

    Chris and Sarah,
    My heart and prayers are with you. One of my favorite new words is ‘near’…the nearness of God to His people..His children. May His nearness and all that means bring deep comfort.
    He sees and knows.
    In Christ, Betsy Kopecky

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